I woke up in the middle of the night realizing that a sincere realization has occurred deep within my mind and therefore I share it with you here on Facebook and in my blog. One man’s observations of the state of affairs. No this is not an attempt to be a male Carrie Bradshaw. It’s just that this particular article has to do with sex and sexuality and many other things. In addition to my realizations mentioned in some of my other articles, written a while ago, I have come to realize that there are other factors which in my humble and limited opinion explain why women don’t really care about the quality of the man’s character but only about his ability to nurture their ego and their femininity and how this relates to geeks or nerds or men who are not what I call the vagina men. I am not a vagina man. No this has nothing to do with liking vaginas.
I am a nerd and that’s why I cannot be the vagina man. But what is a vagina man. I have to define the term. Vagina men are men who would do anything to have sex with any woman, anywhere, any time, no reason required. They would play any game that any woman wants them to play in order to have sex with them and in order to appear masculine, in charge, father figure, head of the house. I could not care less if I have sex once a year, once every ten minutes or once every ten years. I am so completely self sufficient that it completely and totally frustrates women. Furthermore, I love to cook, clean, and I love my job and so the only thing that I want from a woman is love. I do not need to have sex with ten different women every three days in order to feel masculine or like I have to achieve whatever it is that men are supposed to achieve (by sleeping with numerous women).
It’s only in the last few months that I have come to realize how much frustration geeks can cause to women who require certain kind of assurance. I have been talking to psychologists, I have been reading, I have been thinking and I have come to realize why this happens. I could be wrong. LOL. You see women want men they can control with their femininity and their vagina and with other assets which are unique to women. It is not a conscious realization. And it is not a conscious intent. It is a subconscious power play which needs to be observed and interpreted in order to be understood. Like many other psychological problems.
If a man, who is in a relationship with a woman, does not look at the woman she is wondering why, is he thinking about somebody else. If he is not talking, why is he not sharing everything with her, he must be sharing it with somebody else. If he is not around her all the time, he must we wanting to be with somebody else. Why is he not inspired and awe of her, all the time.
I have come to realize that this sexual power play is one of the main reasons why many geeks do not have girlfriends. There is no way for women to control true nerds. Nerds are curios and intelligent, they read books, play video games, create, use technology, they interact with other deep nerds, they are in their own mind. There is no way for women to control them. Especially not with their vagina power and other feminine powers and many women need to do this because they feel inadequate if they cannot perform this function because they are not aware of the things that make them special, unique, talents, hidden potential which had been supressed by men, for thousands of years. There is no space in a nerd’s psyche for that. His mind is full of stuff, all the time. This is why women need constant validation from men. Again, this is not a clear intent. They need to be with men who can whisper in their ears, tell them how beautiful they are no matter what their hair looks like, or their pants, or their shoes. Men who can supply small lies and big lies, all day, every day. Men who can pretend they are interested. Men who pretend they don’t cheat so well that women can believe them. Men who are ready to do anything and say anything just so they could use any woman for sex and to control her and demonstrate their abusive and insensitive behaviours which is what makes them feel masculine.
Individuals in this kind of relationship are not there to reaffirm each other’s values, they are not helping each other grow, they are not there to love each other for what they are. And what they are, and what we are, what you my dear reader are, and what I am, is good and bad, ugly and beautiful, perfect in some ways and imperfect in others. All of us are many things. And if you can’t love the good and the bad then that isn’t love. And there is no other love. The only alternative is to lie. Pretend we are something we are not.
The problem is that if one cannot accept one’s own imperfections and insecurities how can she or he accept them when somebody else points them out. We don’t accept them, not our own observations and most certainly not somebody else’s observations of our imperfections. That’s why we have to lie and learn how to treat it as a form politeness, thus further lying to ourselves about the very reason why we are lying to ourselves.
Are we to live with people who feed us nothing but lies about who we are and what we should do with our lives or are we to live with people who don’t care about our talents, gifts, passions. Are we to live with people with no aspirations and desires other than to eat and sleep. During any one day some people do little more than eat and sleep and some other people perform incredible amounts of work. So like I said, if one cannot accept one’s own imperfections and insecurities how can she or he accept them when somebody else points them out. They cannot. And geeks, example me, have no interest in games and vagina power, and ego massaging. Ouch. If people are not taught to accept and discuss their own imperfections forget about being in an honest caring relationship and forget about loving the one who points them out. We could go much deeper and ask why does this happen. It happens because of centuries of oppression of women, inequality and so on. Women do not need paint on their lips and faces. Yeah make up. Women do not need tight clothes. Why are they doing it. Because of men. There is nothing feminine about being dressed like a doll. It is not feminine. It is there to attract men. It is not a woman’s natural state. Just be what makes you happy. You.
Women don’t need men. Men stink, they are dirty, they burp, fart, drink, swear, eat like pigs. I know. I am a man. Not all men, of course. Not me. LOL. Many. Most. Many live like filthy animals. Men are men. But more than that. Men are allowed to be themselves. And women? Their job is not to be themselves. In fact, we now have a generation of women who do not know what it means to be themselves. From the age of whatever, ten, they use make up and every other accessory there is. A woman’s purpose is not to be herself. So much so that we are now at a point where women cannot accept and deal with their own potential and value as human beings.
Why. Because women are told that their job is to make men feel like men. So they see themselves primarily as somebody who is there to support and nurture their man. And guess why, because those men who need to flex their muscles like impotent beach boys are men who feel insecure about their masculine features or don’t know how to accept and deal with their masculinity, subconsciously of course. To them their masculinity is a complicated psychological process which they do not understand. They are left on their own, to deal with their own misinterpretation of their masculinity. They have no idea what it is let alone how to deal with it and explain it to their children. So they need cars and women and muscles and weapons in order to reaffirm their masculinity, which, GUESS WHAT PEEPS, IS NOT IN QUESTION.
They need dolled up women who will allow themselves to be abused, demeaned and used for sex like some plastic dolls and not loved and celebrated and nurtured and adored for their gentleness, all that so their men could feel manly and masculine because that’s what we are told is normal. And the freak show goes on. I am a geek, I have no issues with my masculinity. I am a big, hairy, ugly man and I know it and that’s why I don’t need a doll who will give me everything that every man needs: a woman who would take care of me and who would allow me to abuse her so I could reinforce my masculinity and perpetuate the circle of violence against women. So, women, ask yourselves, do you really need high heels, artificial paint on your face, skin, hair. Do you want to be the object that reassures men of their masculinity, that reassures the weak male psyche of something which it does not understand in the first place. The unperceived, unexplained, subconscious fear of impotence with which men deal the only way they know how, yes by using and abusing as many women as they can.
All I can say is if I were a woman I could not give a shit about what any man or woman thinks about me. And men, yes you mucho men who need cars and weapons and endless supply of things to maintain your masculinity while the world and women suffer, you are doing it because YOU feel insecure, not the geeks. You don’t realize that your masculinity is not going to disappear and that it cannot be taken away. No matter how gentle, quiet and loving you are, your masculinity is still there. There is nothing you need to do to preserve it.
We could go even deeper and ask why do we feel the need to reinforce our masculine or feminine features or why is it that men have been controlling women for so long. We would have to talk about instinct, self image, self image formation, social order, the origins of modern societies and the foundations of formation of human psyche and so on. It could turn into a complex psycho philosophical social debate. But let me continue with the dumbed down version.
Unfortunately, many, most, if not all geeks undermine women’s sense of womanhood. I have learned this. Yes, personal experience. They do not make them feel important, loved, cared for. No, that is not good either. It is a problem too. Like I said a woman cannot control me with anything. I am self sufficient in every way. I am in a relationship to find love. To learn about love. But I have come to realize that love is an act of constantly providing reassurances and expressing your feelings of amazement and wonder about your partner’s state of mind, body and everything else. And the wonder is endless. It really is. Women are special, unique, and beautiful. And discovering emotional and psychological and physical features is a never ending process which is deeply intimate and revealing and it is what makes us grow and realize what it means to experience deep emotional and physical states of pleasure, with the person who is willing to reveal herself or himself. But not all perceptions can be positive and not all things and details can be beautiful. But are we never to discuss what is not beautiful and what is beauty and perfection and talent. I love imperfections too. No simple task ladies and gentlemen. I love everything about me and therefore I am ready to love everything there is to love about the other person. Good and bad. Beautiful and ugly. And both exist, within each one of us. And this is why the vagina men can dominate.
The vagina men can spin bullshit, lie and provide the constant barrage of lies, deceptions, tricks, false assurances, meaningless conversations, pointless suggestions, and so on, and guess what, it works. An artificial reality made up of lies. It does not really work but it becomes a temporary false reality because it is what women want to hear. Not all women, of course. Until the whole thing explodes and everybody gets hurt. And then the process repeats. The whole thing keeps folding and unfolding like a gigantic freak circus. Women end up ‘learning the truth’ about their men and their secret affairs, secret children, secret jobs and dirty dealings, secret kinky habits which they are not grown up and manly enough to reveal and explore with the one person they love and so on. The scenario keeps repeating. From homeless bums to the European aristocracy, senators and diplomats, military personnel. And for the geek, for me, the problem continues to exist.
How do I provide a truthful opinion and say what I mean without being rude, and uncaring. How can I maintain my identity and my beliefs and show how much I can love. No small task ladies and gentlemen. I don’t have a fucking clue how to do it but at least I know where I stand and I don’t live in denial about who I am. The show goes on. And so what does a geek, non macho, non vagina man, like me do. I find a good seat, watch the show and provide an interesting commentary. And try to learn more about myself and women.