Sometimes I get depressed because everything is beautiful but to self aware humans only that which is more beautiful than something else, something else which is always deemed ugly or uglier than that which is deemed beautiful, can be beautiful. I think it is so tragic that we cannot perceive the total beauty of everything, the universe itself, because we separate the universe into systems and elements. And we have to separate it into different elements. We have to because our mind is so limited, so limited that we cannot begin to perceive its limitations, therefore cannot begin to perceive that we are fragmenting our reality into elements we can grasp and deal with and accept, and that the reality is not that which we need it to be in order to understand it. Gold, cars, plastic, weapons. How trivial. How limiting. We are the galaxy’s star child standing in front of a gigantic intergalactic mathematical formula that’s written on a gigantic intergalactic blackboard. We are trying to solve the formula of life, however we cannot begin to solve it for we cannot see the end of the blackboard, we cannot see all the unknowns in order to begin to imagine possible solutions. To know that most people will go through their lives without realizing this fundamental truth of their existence, that everything is beautiful, and that they will spend their money and their irreplaceable minutes on trying to polish their diamond rings, and clean their rare Asian carpets and apply four coats of wax to their already polished new cars, and gather paintings and poems without ever being able to comprehend the dimensions and meanings contained within them, that the beauty they are trying to generate, acquire and hold onto fades in significance to what they are missing, makes me feel depressed. They have to look for ‘beauty’ in those little things they can acquire because they are missing the bigger picture. They are missing the whole fucking universe. The whole universe is beautiful. It’s so beautiful it’s depressing.


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