Nina’s time

Nina’s time

 

Nina’s had a hard life

Been a long game

Of seduction and fame

On the road without a name

 

Always too late…

 

To shake the right hand…

And See the right man…

 

Always too late…

 

To escape the pleasure of his lies…

To ask for a compromise…

 

Is it too late…

 

To escape from his crime…

And see what it denies…

 

Forever in her life’s roundabout…

 

Would she smile at him…

After all these years…

Would she look at him…

 

Etc. 

 

Dream of a selfless face

Confined to the city of our crime…

We’re inventing of a memory…

Of a better time…

 

Where dollar or two buys the time…

All the time…

Away from our crime….

 

But streets are gettn’ wider…

And their rivers of children smarter and smarter…

 

Dream on…don’t wake up…

 

We paint the streets the color of our illusion…

Whatever we dream of…

Sold as a delusion…

 

Crime’s got a new face…

A thinking tribe…

Without a holy place…

 

Dream on…don’t wake up…

 

And remember your face…

For…

Somehow…

Somewhere…

Someday…

 

We’ll invent a memory…

 Of a selfless face…

Without a crime to burden it’s dream…

It’ll dream of a city without a sin…

 

And teach us all…

To see…

 

An open mind…

And a smiling face…

 

Of a self race…

Oh…aaaahhhhh…

Selfless race…

 

The digital self

Plug me in…

 

…Into digital freedom of my life

 

Into…

Anonymity and security…

And Photoshopped beauty …

 

But they see my trace…

For I’m…

 

I’m in the cloud of my digital confession

Holding the list…

With all my earthly possessions

 

Where is here…

What is me…

 

Digital screens scream my name…

Telling me to invent my own fame…

 

Look at me now…

 

The digital horizon’s burning bright….

Creating the digital path of my digital life

 

Within the city of digital delight…

We’re all digital neighbors…

Forming a disconnected network of life…

 

I just LIKED the picture of my neighbor’s wife

 

Soon you’ll be able to hear a digital cry

Of an unborn child…

 

Will the government do what I ask it to do

Or will it block me too…

 

But my digital essence is my undeniable presence

And I get to exercise my constitutional right…

To be plugged into the disconnected network of life…

 

I just liked the picture of my brother’s wife

 

Bigger screens…

More delight…

 

Not so sure of my digital delight…

I am an endless shadow that never sleeps

Longer than life…

Faster than light…

Always burning bright…

 

We’re of the loving kind…

Beyond the digital night…

 

Hold onto your Photoshopped digital face…

They’re about to delete your trace…

 

We’re of the loving kind…

Forever beyond the digital night…

 

Super Teen Beauty Queen

What is your beauty

Where does it come from

 

A God’s gift or…

Genetic fate…

 

Could gods create (it)…

Without taking from human faith…

 

In themselves and others…

 And all that’s beautiful and great…

 

What is your beauty…

Where does it come from…

 

Ex Super Teen Beauty Queen…

 

Hold onto it…

Whatever it takes…

 

Save the mask…your only case…

Save the mask to save your place…

 

Melting the skin away…

To see the face of fire…

 

Will your beauty fall apart…

At the sound of his beating heart…

 

It’s not meant to be broken…

God’s gift or genetic fate….

 

You’re without an expiry date…

 

Etc., etc., etc.,

The war IS within us

♩♪♫♬

The wars within us

Create the wars between us

 

Presidents and generals guide us…

Into the wars that divide us…

 

All…divided…

Forever more…

 

Let’s create another war…

All together…

Forever more…

 

Divide then conquer…

Everything but our own soul…

 

Forever more…

Yet another bloody war…

 

The inner monster’s gettin’ old

Forever fearin’ (afraid of) its own soul…

 

All…divided…

Forever undecided…

 

Divide then conquer…

Everything but our own soul…

 

Forever wearing the white clown’s grin

We never dream to end our sin

 

The Sun Bird rises…

Above the cloud that hides it

 

Into the skies that divide us…

 

Above the wars within us…

Above the wars between us…

 

Into the dream beyond our sin…

 

 

♩♪♫♬

Etc.

Your secret place or the secret of your life

Your secret place or the secret of your life

Tell me your secrets
All the secrets of your life…

I’ll let them flow through me
Like a breath of your life…

I’ll be your secret store…
A walking memory of your life…

(Too many lives LOL)

Let the fears you’re hiding guide me
To the secret place within your heart

Show me the way out…

Of me…

Take me away from…

What I know I shouldn’t be…

Etc.

From playing to competing

As children we play in order to have fun. We do not play in order to exploit the other person.

When, how and why does the process change?

How to determine the following?

How, when and why do we stop playing for the sake of playing and having fun and try to create an advantageous position or compromise the other player’s sensation of fun.

More importantly, how and why are parents allowing it to occur?

When, how and why does it become ok for a child to improve its own position in order to experience more fun than the other child.

Does the child invent the concept of ‘advantage’ or is it suggested by the environment or by the parent?

The origins of the process?

Must a child begin to reduce the amount of empathy it experiences and that is contained within it as soon as it begins to identify itself and separate itself from the environment or does it occur later on?

 

On the self actualization process (I)

Imagine you were able to purchase and own anything you want without having to work for it.

Anything, anywhere in the world, at any time. No matter what it is or where it is, you could have it.

Any object or any piece of real estate anywhere on the planet could be yours within a few weeks.

In other words, imagine if there was nothing you could not own?

What an insurmountable obstacle to happiness that would be?

After acquiring and experiencing the world’s most extraordinary, bizarre, useless, ridiculous and unimportant objects and activities you would, if you had been gifted with a single brain cell, begin to realize that not one of them brought you a millimeter closer to the true, deep, personal and life long happiness you wish to experience before you depart the mortal ground known as the now of your life.

Or more precisely, imagine if you could move through the world as if the economic system and money were not there and you could acquire and experiencing anything you wanted to acquire and experience.

You would realize, very, very quickly, that because you do not have to spend your time on making money thus because you could experiencing anything you want, that life is neither about making money nor about purchasing objects or participating in meaningless activities and sports (with your hard earned or inherited money) but about learning how to experience yourself and other beings.

You would realize that your physical surrounds have little to do with you willingness, ability and knowledge of how to participate in your own life and lives of other people and especially the people you love. If you were born into a particular class where say you grew up with owning five pairs of shoes each worth about fifty dollars the structure of your psyche would be the same as of the person that owns fifty pairs of shoes where each pair is worth two hundred dollars and the same as of the person that owns ten thousand shoes where each pair is worth thousands of dollars.

The reality you are born into becomes the default place for your psyche and because we are all equipped with the same amount of anger, anxiety, fear, love, hate and so on they always find a way to manifest themselves. In other words, the libido (the desire to love and be loved and procreate, etc.) and the mortido (the desire to defend oneself, thus to kill or be killed, or to destroy oneself), which make up the Id, except the most extreme examples of retardation or brain malfunctions, are, have been, and will continue to exist within a certain range and there is very little that the average individual can do to change them to any significant degree.

You would realize that your ability to make money, acquire objects and participate in certain activities has little to do with your ability to reach a deeper understanding about the nature of your psyche. To get to the deeper levels of your mind you have to invest in your mind, your character, your psyche and other people’s minds, characters and psyches.

Then you would begin to wonder why?

Why can’t a single thing bring you any closer to any kind of permanent state of happiness? Why do you have to keep looking for new forms of entertainment? Is looking for new forms of entertainment (toys, business ideas, adventures, etc.) all there is to life? Is this what it’s all about?

Why aren’t you getting any closer to finding yourself, closer to finding a permanent source of happiness? Because no product, no place and no piece of technology can bring you any closer to the true source of you. Your mind is the only thing that can enable you to discover and experience your purest and truest self. Furthermore, the more time and money you spend on other things the further away you get from the true moments of your own life. Why is it is so important to know your mind? Because if you don’t know your mind you don’t know why it desires what it desires? Why is it important to know what you desire? Because our desires are and thus reveal our unresolved inner conflicts, anxieties, fears and so on, and understanding them and eliminating them is the key to happiness. The libido and the mortido desires that reside within the unconscious are life itself. They exist as long we as exist thus to continue to satisfy them for what we think they are thus failing to reflect and determine what they really mean in our lives is to perpetuate meaningless materialism and thus to continue to acquire objects and experience experiences without ever determining why they are not able to become a permanent source of happiness. That is, understanding the discrepancy between the unconscious and the conscious and how we create the discrepancy by what we do satisfy the unconscious via the conscious actions we misinterpret thus perpetuating our own ignorance is the key to happiness.

Then, if you were honest with yourself, you would recognize that there are only three different paths to pursue with your wealth:

1.) To spoil yourself and others.

Use your wealth to fund the people capable of creating something you have not thought about or seen. Sports, space flights, science experiments, sea exploration, world exploration, collections of any kind, food, drugs, you name it, they’ll create it, provided you can afford it. It’s how so many trust fund babies and lottery winners burn their money.

Or

2.) To destroy yourself and others.

Completely unconsciously, you would continue to misinterpret your Id desires and remain their slave. You would create your meaning by following your unconscious instinctive destructive drive. By searching for better, more sophisticated, wealthier, more cunning, meaner business opponents, whose misinterpreted psychopathic behavior could increase and justify yours. You would try to overcome them, defeat them or annihilate them (and anyone else who gets in your way). In the process turning your own life, as well as the lives or your family members, into a hellish tale of manipulation, instability and destruction (for generations to come). All in order to entertain yourself and create your meaning. In order to find the ‘special something’, the dimension of you that you are not strong enough to create yourself, from yourself, within yourself.

Again, some trust fund babies destroy their inheritance while others increase it and turn it into empires of unimaginable sizes. The psychopaths rise to the very top of the socio political and economic pyramid because they have acquired enough wealth to control, threaten, buy or kill, etc., every single person below them, including their own families. Etc., etc., etc. We should stop there. It could get ugly.

Or

3.) Recognize the need for self-awareness in order to determine the nature of your psyche and your desires and turn yourself into a useful instruments that assists fellow human beings during their own struggles to do so.

That is, if you were extremely honest with yourself, you would realize that your true happiness is something you have to create within you.

You would realize that your happiness is you.

Your happiness is you awareness of the true nature, quality, beauty and presence of your entire self as expressed in the each and every moment of your own life and in the lives of all the people you have met, you know, and you will ever meet, plus all the people who will learn of your deeds and your existence at some point in the future.

That’s all there is to you. That’s all that matters and that’s all that will ever matter and no wealth can buy you your awareness of that truth. In other words, no wealth can buy you your awareness of yourself and of your ability to share that awareness of yourself and of ‘the other people’ with ‘the other people’.

It is only when you experience and share that awareness of yourself that everything else becomes so incredibly and indescribably insignificant. Completely, totally and utterly irrelevant. Incomparable to your realization of how beautiful all life and human beings are. In fact the nature of beauty, intelligence, complexity contained within a single human being, as well as the sheer multidimensionality of its mind, is so great that all the pieces of art and sciences ever created have been trying to describe it and despite their combine efforts are yet to scratch the surface. All products, everything we have ever created and imagined is trying to communicate, explain, express what just one of us is. It’s a profound realization.

Furthermore, if you had given it enough time and thought, you would realize, at once, in an instant, that nothing could come close to what you and all other human beings are. Especially the human being(s) you love. Precisely because they, like you, are capable of becoming self- made constructs and therefore are a self-perpetuating source of happiness that can be shared with other human beings, ad infinitum, forever and ever. Thus in an instant you would realize that humanity contained within you and all the other beings is all it would take to create an infinite quantity of happiness and nothing else can come even close to creating or replicating humanity’s creative potential.

It’s right here, right now, in every human being, yet it remains unused. Instead, it is abused, suppressed, oppressed, concealed, etc. By the need to perpetuate the world as we know it, for no other reason than to perpetuate the world as we know it, for we are too afraid to visualize it as a different construct.

No spirituality, no religion, no mysticism. Not that there is no need for them, not that they bad, but all we have to do is embrace psychology, biology and logic.

One’s self-actualization through one’s self-realization (that is realizing how much we can mean in our own lives and in others’ lives, when we learn how to experience and share ourselves without fear) is so powerful, humbling, tremendous, all encompassing, eternal, permanent, it renders all the wealth ever created and acquired by all the world’s wealthiest families completely insignificant. It does so because it becomes, and, in fact, it already is, knowledge.

Such shared self-awareness which becomes knowledge renders physical objects irrelevant because only knowledge is permanent. Physical objects might last a year or hundreds of thousands of years but knowledge is eternal. Knowledge is life. Knowledge is what forms the unbreakable chain of life. Knowledge is what enables life and lifeforms to grow, learn and survive. Unlike physical objects it does not collapse under its own weight. New knowledge always and forever enables the individual and civilization to seek more new knowledge. New knowledge creates the ground for more new knowledge.

We have to accept that we have arrived at the point in time where we have to use ‘knowledge’ to transform our physical and mental image of ourselves and of our civilization. We can and therefore we must go beyond using ‘knowledge’ to transform natural and artificial environments. We need to take a breather, as individuals, and more importantly, as a civilization, and use our knowledge and technology to transform our minds, our psyche, and our bodies into more humane constructs, and then, and only then, to resume with the technological and environmental revolution.

Our eternal hunger for more (of something, anything), remains unacknowledged. It moves ahead of us like an eternal shadow, always one step ahead. No matter how much we earn, as individuals or as nations or as a civilization, and regardless of what we acquire, the psyche remains unhappy with itself, for it remains misunderstood and unacknowledged, by its own self. That is, by its conscious portion. The conscious element of the psyche has not been taught how to acknowledge and then turn its unconscious drive into a healthy, purposeful, useful action.

Throughout centuries thousands of wealthy individuals have ended their own lives.  In the end, always alone, disappointed, bitter, without any true family and friends, accompanied by drugs and weapons, isolated, cut off and surrounded by their wealth. From kings and queens to artists, scientists, presidents, lawyers, and doctors. Why are we so ignorant? Is there nothing to be learned from their deaths? The people who are meant to be beyond happy. The people who are meant to be our leaders. Not just as generals and presidents but as our intellectual leaders. The people whose lives are seen as the ideal model, until they end them. When they do, we ignore the miserable end they had chosen for themselves and focus on a new star of the day, decade, century, millennium. Is there nothing to be learned from an eternity of misery?

The worst thing about it is that we continue to ignore that we are surrounded by a number of smart, well educated, powerful, wealthy but equally self unaware and ignorant individuals who are equally unaware that they are participating in our imaginary game of life.

In other words, the individuals willing to research your weaknesses and desires and supply the products we dream about. A mansion on a cliff, an airplane with diamond and gold covered interiors, an underground bunker, hand made cars, etc. From the bizarre to the absurd. You dream of it, they’ll steal your dreams and turn them into a product, just so they could get your money, just so they could satisfy their Id. The more the merrier.

Books, actually libraries of books have been written about the nature of the mind yet they continue to exist as useless objects. War machines, armies, money and technology seem to provide a greater sense of security because most people remain unaware of the knowledge. The few that are aware of it struggle to turn it into practical tools with which they could transform their lives. Why is it so? Is it because the truth is always ‘too close to home’. Every CEO, every ruler, every leader, every president, every general, every admiral is somebody’s mother, somebody’ father, somebody’s sister, somebody’s brother, somebody’s daughter, somebody’s son, somebody’s cousin, somebody, grandfather, somebody’s relative. Thus each and every one of must stand up and separate himself or herself from the sheer insanity created by our own families. What an insurmountable obstacle? Right? Not at all, but anyway.

Desires created by the Id (the libido and the mortido) are infinite, illogical and absurd. It is in their nature to be so. They are the human absurdity itself. Allowing them to go unchecked is insanity.

Needless to say, that kind of honesty would require an extraordinary amount of self-reflection, and that is another rare thing, and its scarcity and rarity are the reason why so many continue with the game. As soon as the faintest shadow of self-doubt appears, it is suppressed by the Id’s urge to seek the next fun thing.

 

 

 

But the Id being what it is, separate from the ego and primitive, does not seek the most intelligent solution, only the most gratifying one, unfortunately the greater one’s wealth the easier it becomes to satisfy the Id. Without realizing that the Id is the monster within. And I mean that in every sense of the word.

The monster within each and every one of us is what stands between us and peace, love and humanity. Not ‘the other person or the other people’. The eternal problem is: no wealth can buy the sword with which to slay the monster within, for you cannot slay it, only master it. For you, who are to hold the sword, are the monster and the sword. To try to slay yourself or others is to lose the battle before you step out onto the battlefield of life. To take control of one’s desires, of one’s deep unconscious and conscious, of one’s fears and ambitions, now that’s to experience life. That’s to live. That’s to glide with the wind. To know that the wind of life could rip you and your craft apart at any moment but to submit yourself to it and to trust your very own self that you will sense it in time and know how to use its currents when you begin to feel them on your skin and in your blood now that’s to live in the now and not be afraid of it.

It’s to acknowledge that no matter who you are, where you are, or what you do, you cannot control the universe. It’s an illusion. The universe and life itself are so vast and complex it’s a miracle we survive day by day. Thousands of chemical reactions taking place within our bodies and an infinite number of possibilities for errors, incidents, accidents within the increasingly complex environments we inhabit mean that we are at its mercy, forever and ever. To realize, accept and then share and enjoy the process of experiencing and sharing all of the above is, I think, to set oneself free and enjoy the journey.

The declaration of starvation

The declaration of starvation

 

It’s the declaration of starvation of the meaningless nation

 

Who are you

What do you seek

 

Are you meek

Or just weak

 

You don’t care

Or you don’t dare…

 

To seek the weak…

Before they ask for your crime

 

Look one more time…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Toys of love

For writers do what they must. They write. Anything and everything. Fiction…short and long. Non fiction…long and longer. Poems and books and stories. Articles and reviews. Critiques and exposes, loved and forbidden. It’s the calling, it’s the desire, the writer’s drive’s the story that cannot be erased or deleted.

 

Digital daddy’s toys of love

 

Daddy daddy…

SKYPE me…

Stay plugged in all the time…

Session’s over…you’re outta time…

 

They bought him a house and a car

An airplane and a guitar

 

But they couldn’t buy him any love…

Nor could they tell him of its eternal role…

In the endless story of life…

 

So he asked for more …

 

Daddy daddy…

Can I have a bigger house and a faster car

A cooler plane and a fancier guitar

 

Sure sonny said Daddy

Here sonny just for you…

 

A Beverly Hills house and a Jimi Hendrix Guitar

A brand new F16

And a superfast (NAS)CAR

 

The boy played and longed

But found no love…

 

Daddy daddy…

The guitars don’t sing the songs of love

The planes can’t fly me under the rainbows of hope…

 

Once again….

 

Daddy went over the hill to play…

With the refurbished Hollywood stars

In the village of the eternal scars

Sets filled with sleepless stand in porn stars

 

But Daddy could not find any love for sale…

So he brought him some more…

 

Toys of love…

Session’s over…

Timed out…

 

Daddy fell asleep at his desk…

At the top of the hill…

Where only the Hollywood sign’s true and still…

 

But again the boy asked for more…

 

Daddy daddy…

Buy me a scar so I could feel some love…

So I can care when she’s gone…

So I can go after her and show her my…

 

Love…is…

My toys of love…

Love…is…

My toys of love…

 

A deeper meaning…

A fancier feeling…

They are not for sale…

 

The toys of love…

It’s what people are struggling for every day…

On a smaller scale…

 

The toys of love…

It’s what the boys must want to be boys…

 

What’s wrong with you sonny boy…

Snap out of it…

Get a grip on it…

 

The toys of love…

It’s everybody’s dream